When you look at how Paul describes what a healthy marriage and family looks like the picture is clear. Look again at Ephesians 5:21-6:4.
He begins with the injunction that all are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (verse 21). Then he emphasizes, wives are to submit to their husbands, husbands are to love their wives, children are to obey and honor their parents, and parents are to train and instruct their children.
These elements are to be spiritually grounded and motivated. Wives are to submit to their husbands as the church is to submit to Christ. When we submit to Christ we affirm His authority over us. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, that is, sacrificially. Christ gave His life for the benefit of the church. For a husband, no price should be considered too great to enrich and empower his wife. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord and honor them, as found in the ten commandments. The focus in parents training and instructing their children is to be their relationship with the Lord. You can equip them for success in other areas of life, but their relationship with Christ is of utmost importance.
Obviously, if you take the Lord out of this equation for a quality marriage and family you’ll find all kinds of potential dysfunction, like control and manipulation. But with the presence of God as a vital factor in relating to one another there is a wholesome nurturing and affirming of each person to be all God intended them to be.