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Pastor Lud Golz
Pastor Lud Golz

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  Home | Transcript Archive | June | June 14, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

One of the most powerful impact statements I’ve found is in 1 Kings 1.  Unfortunately it hit me after my children were already adults.  David was on his deathbed.  Adonijah his son planned to usurp the throne before one of the other sons could get it.  He was handsome, but from all indications spoiled.  In verse six it says, “His father had never interfered with him by asking, ‘Why do you behave as you do?’” 

I never had to memorize this impact statement on parenting.  Two important skills are revealed here.  Knowing when to interfere in your child’s life.  And, knowing how to confront your child when you believe their intentions or behavior are inappropriate.

Children never like it when parents interfere with what they are doing or intend to do.  But it’s appropriate to stop them in their tracks if parents believe they’re moving in a wrong or dangerous direction. 

This doesn’t mean the parents are always right when they interfere.  That’s why the second skill is mentioned.  Once you’ve interfered, ask the child, “Why are you behaving this way?” or “Why are you intending to do this?”  By asking the question you give a child the opportunity to share. You also have the opportunity to understand their reason, if they’ve given it some thought.  If they haven’t, you’re helping them become more responsible in managing their lives. As they answer your question, they might persuade you that they have a legitimate reason. 

These skills help get to the heart of parent/child problems and help both.

 

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