Friday, October 24, 2014

Buying up a teachable moment as parents doesn’t always happen as anticipated. An impact statement in 1 Kings 1 illustrates this. David is on his deathbed. Adonijah his son plans to usurp the throne. He was a handsome young man, but from all indications spoiled. Verse 6 says, “His father had never interfered with him by asking, ‘Why do you behave as you do?’” Two important skills are revealed here. Knowing when to interfere in your child’s life and knowing how to confront your child when you believe their intentions or behavior are inappropriate. Children never like it when a parent interferes, but it’s appropriate to stop them if a parent believes they’re moving in a wrong or dangerous direction. This doesn’t mean the parents are always right. That’s why the second skill is mentioned. Once you’ve interfered, ask the child, “Why are you intending to do this?” or if they’re already doing it, “Why are you behaving this way?” By asking the question you give the child the opportunity to defend themselves or see the error of their way. You also have the opportunity to understand their reasoning. If they haven’t thought it through you’re helping them become more responsible in managing their lives. Furthermore, as they answer your question, they might persuade you that they have a legitimate reason. These two skills help get to the heart of parent/child misunderstandings or problems and help them work it out responsibly.