In our last visit we concluded with the observation that many small groups never get to where a member feels safe enough to share his heart. They’re satisfied with a level of sharing that never gets to the heart, robbing them all of deep, soul healing. That’s too bad.
But the reason this happens is because of what we find developing in the book of Job when Job shares his gut feelings of despair and anger in Job 3. This kind of sharing represents one of the greatest challenges a small group or support group encounters. Job’s friends weren’t up to this challenge and Job wasn’t up to listening to their misguided attempts to help.
Instead of silently listening as he vented his inner feelings his friends began giving advice. As you read the dialogue beginning in Job 4 you need to realize that these friends were human. What Job shared was heavy stuff. They had a hard time handling it and slipped into an accusative mode to get the heat off themselves. It was like passing the hot potato back and forth to keep your own hands from getting burned.
Job defended himself against their accusations. Blame, shame, accusation and defensiveness muddied the waters. Instead of helping they were merely digging a hole into which all of them were sinking.
It’s not that all they said was bad. In fact, they shared some good ideas. But their theology and counsel didn’t help them break through to an encounter with God. It’s what Dr. Larry Crabb calls “self talk,” rather than engaging in “soul talk.” This deficiency in many small groups needs correcting.
